Handling Holiday Stress
Desert Valley Ranch Life- December, 2013
HANDLING HOLIDAY STRESS
There are many stressful things in our modern society. However, while we are subjected to many stressful situations every day, stress isn’t “out there”. Stress is in how we respond to what’s “out there”.
By now you have made it through Thanksgiving, either well or no-so-well. Here are some tips to get through the rest of the holidays.
Many of the people in your life absolutely enhance your joy and creativity, and, they are fun to be with. However, I think that we all have a few people that my daughter refers to as “energy vampires”. These people feel compelled to tell us every single thing that is wrong with their lives, or, even more fun, they want to tell us every single thing that is wrong with ours! DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT feel responsible to try to make them happy, especially if that task pulls you down. Your job is to stay happy, no matter what! Actually, the best thing to do is to avoid them like the plague.
Now, suppose that one or more of these people are relatives that you are thrown together with this time of year. Feel free not to engage in the downer conversations. Your job is to protect yourself emotionally. Remember that you have no responsibility to make them happy. Your best recourse, if they become negative, is to say something the equivalent of, “You know, that is not a subject that I want to talk about right now.” Or, “I don’t really want to go there right now.” Or even, “You know, I really like to stay positive around the holidays.” very gently, remembering the whole time that your job is to stay happy, no matter what!
If they become insulted, remember the old saying. “What someone says is about them. How I respond to it is about me.” No one can insult another without their permission. You also do not need to respond to their being insulted or, you could respond by saying, “I’m sorry that you feel that way.” It’s not an apology but it sounds like one. It is in your best interest to just move on, change the subject and talk about anything else.
”Well, how about all of the extra things that I have to do over the holidays?” Remember that your main job is to stay happy over the holidays. That is how you can create the most joy in your household. Being free from stress is probably the most important present you can give your family.
Make a list of the things that you feel you must do. Now, decide which ones bring you joy and cross out all of the rest! I always hated taking down Christmas trees. One year in mid-January my tree was still up. My boyfriend at the time made a rude remark about keeping the tree up ‘til February as he walked out of the house. So, when he came back that evening, he found the tree decorated with red hearts. Sarcasm no longer upsets me but it does bring out my creativity. I no longer put up a Christmas tree. I do decorate some but make it look like a lot. I will totally decorate the mantle but not put tchotchkes up all around the house. Wreaths go up on the front door and electric candles in the windows. Voila! Christmas decorations!
Have the best holiday season ever and remember to BE HAPPY!
Pat Farrell has a private practice in the High Desert and works with Corporate Health and Wellness Programs. She has been teaching Stress Management since 1991 and is the author of How to Be Happy…No Matter What’s Happening. Pat can be reached at 760-961-4027 or [email protected].
HANDLING HOLIDAY STRESS
There are many stressful things in our modern society. However, while we are subjected to many stressful situations every day, stress isn’t “out there”. Stress is in how we respond to what’s “out there”.
By now you have made it through Thanksgiving, either well or no-so-well. Here are some tips to get through the rest of the holidays.
Many of the people in your life absolutely enhance your joy and creativity, and, they are fun to be with. However, I think that we all have a few people that my daughter refers to as “energy vampires”. These people feel compelled to tell us every single thing that is wrong with their lives, or, even more fun, they want to tell us every single thing that is wrong with ours! DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT feel responsible to try to make them happy, especially if that task pulls you down. Your job is to stay happy, no matter what! Actually, the best thing to do is to avoid them like the plague.
Now, suppose that one or more of these people are relatives that you are thrown together with this time of year. Feel free not to engage in the downer conversations. Your job is to protect yourself emotionally. Remember that you have no responsibility to make them happy. Your best recourse, if they become negative, is to say something the equivalent of, “You know, that is not a subject that I want to talk about right now.” Or, “I don’t really want to go there right now.” Or even, “You know, I really like to stay positive around the holidays.” very gently, remembering the whole time that your job is to stay happy, no matter what!
If they become insulted, remember the old saying. “What someone says is about them. How I respond to it is about me.” No one can insult another without their permission. You also do not need to respond to their being insulted or, you could respond by saying, “I’m sorry that you feel that way.” It’s not an apology but it sounds like one. It is in your best interest to just move on, change the subject and talk about anything else.
”Well, how about all of the extra things that I have to do over the holidays?” Remember that your main job is to stay happy over the holidays. That is how you can create the most joy in your household. Being free from stress is probably the most important present you can give your family.
Make a list of the things that you feel you must do. Now, decide which ones bring you joy and cross out all of the rest! I always hated taking down Christmas trees. One year in mid-January my tree was still up. My boyfriend at the time made a rude remark about keeping the tree up ‘til February as he walked out of the house. So, when he came back that evening, he found the tree decorated with red hearts. Sarcasm no longer upsets me but it does bring out my creativity. I no longer put up a Christmas tree. I do decorate some but make it look like a lot. I will totally decorate the mantle but not put tchotchkes up all around the house. Wreaths go up on the front door and electric candles in the windows. Voila! Christmas decorations!
Have the best holiday season ever and remember to BE HAPPY!
Pat Farrell has a private practice in the High Desert and works with Corporate Health and Wellness Programs. She has been teaching Stress Management since 1991 and is the author of How to Be Happy…No Matter What’s Happening. Pat can be reached at 760-961-4027 or [email protected].
